[who am i . just an ordinary miracle]

emptiness of me

i'm so sick of my job...
it's been a long time since i blogged, those were the days when i was emo.

i think it's back.

i feel stress everywhere,i wake up everyday and drag myself to work, i hate it, im not motivated, i dont like the way how they speak rudely to me, as if they are more superior than me. hello, you work for 10 years and stuck at the same position and you're calling yourself superior? cb!


i thought of changing a job, but i think it's the same everywhere, how? what i did and my efforts are not being appreciated here, im so sad :(

wo de xin, zhen de shou shang le

i feel sad

let me stop thinking

来呼吸








i think im gonna quit blogging as well..

my blog.. made me a bloody emo slave

hey,

i am well..

and im gonna gif myself a one week break.

after that, work time 'activated'.

going to singapore tomorrow. dunno need to spend how much this time T_T god bless nini.

EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.

okla..

BENJAMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

听说。。
lala死的那一夜，天空有个美丽的奇迹。。月亮和星星排成了一个笑脸，
lala,是你在对我微笑说你很好吗？
我忘不了你死的那一刻，
你如此的坚强，忍耐了一个礼拜才走，你真的很乖。。是想陪妈妈多几天吗？
妈妈很心痛你们的离去。。

这条路。。。该怎么继续走。。

我迷路了

kiki lala......... bye bye

人，真的很烦。
嫌东嫌西，只是害怕自己吃亏。别人呢？我已经好声好气了！

唧唧白白。我跌到谷底。爆镜，芽笼，生病，车坏，食物中毒。
很想把枕头用刀片割烂，把所有的棉花塞进我心里的空隙。

眉运100%。斗志力0%

我想大喊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ciu cipet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

很没心情。
大家似乎忙得忘了呼吸。
我好倒霉。车窗被人打破。design和别人撞。
我真的觉得自己没天分。
要找到自己想走的路很难。真的好难。
我不懂我自己。
我不确定。
我不懂。
我好想逃避。今天得到了旷课的惩罚。

一切都是因为自己。
黄色，粉红色，蓝色，绿色，红色。你们是对的吗？

我好像挤不进这个社会。
就像电车关上了门，就得等下一趟。

im trying to accept, not to complain.






我不喜欢做傻瓜

小吵架。

小别扭。

感情加分？

im serious.. real serious


to-do-list

1. start hunting job/college for degree
details: called mum, she said i should start looking for jobs, dad gave green light to go overseas to explore. honestly i don't know what i want, design doesnt seem quite right for me. i've visited alexandrea's blog, she just started her studio, hmm.. that looks kinda impossible with me. wtf is this. i need more input, i need more contacts, i wonder why everyone else knows the big shots? how they are oftenly invited to the events? who are they ?? and why the fuck is their closet full ysl, lv, marc jacobs, prada,balenciaga, chanel,fendi,lanvin? shit. i will own them someday too. i need everything more!! ROAR*

2. mini collection..come come ideas
details: gonna get all the designs done by this sem. start sewing during the holidays for photo shooting durin CNY. *yawn* initially i had an idea, but i find it over drama and costume. as what i've been told,our graduation show is not our show!it belongs to my college, they dont want avant-garde, they want the ''typical raffles designs'. my school, haha, not to mention, we have vice dean who flirts non stop around tho havin wife and kids overseas, we have lecturers whom are enemies, we have lecturers who fatt hao and likes to suck up to the higher authorities, lecturers who are jealous of others' achievements, lecturer who act like a 100% dumb blonde tho shes not blonde, canteen aunty who is calculative and stingy, luckily we still have you, our canteen uncle **hero**!

3. bring JKU7123 for a wash
details: omfg, bird droppings, mud, dirt, grease, sorry ya, no time to bath for you..i promise to bring you to a car wash soon!! hopefully tomorrow.. but its deepavali and i wonder if they work? petrol is still kinda expensive.so broke.RM50for 3-4days..approx.RM500 for a month,+jam+fabric hunting+makan+shopping+car park+some rubbish. my monthly expenses has gone up to 2000+ per month. so sorry to give such burden to my parents.

4.im gonna rest full day for today!
details: i started watching one last standing since the moment i woke up, i never even bother to go to wash up, grabbed a bottle of hundred plus and watch until i fell asleep ard 5pm++ and now, im gonna continue watching, before tomorrow comes, and have list of work waiting for me to do. oh no, chian nini, i betcha gonna fall sick soon.

5.notes for my friend:
details: im so sorry if i couldnt join any dinner sessions, gathering at times, sometimes i really wanna just bath and sleep, feeling very tired inside&out. i'll make up to you guys soon. :)

im not emo now,
just wanna thanks avis,
forcing us, pushing us, ffk-ed us,
i get all ur good means. telima kasi
and ya. Raffles Design Institute has changed to Raffles International College. TOOT* RDI -->RIC

bye.
J

我这里下雨了，你那里呢？
我真的相信会永远。。

我快变穷光蛋了。。
小徐的天空好严重。。是深灰色的。。
我的是淡淡的。。雨已经把所有的血迹洗干净了

我想太多了

我是杀人犯
我是通缉犯
我被ikea罗里撞死
我是新娘
我是大家羡慕的
那都是在梦里，
现实生活的我，什么都不是

rainbow has gone back to melaka. T_T
miss him

headache
headache
headache
headache
headache

班上的同学有密谋
在背后自己投票我做班长。。

啊。今天霓霓班长当班第一天。

晕

i'm right.

it rained today.

it really rained and wash away the pain.

Labels: emo

这几天，肚子很不舒服。。
到底吃错什么了。。
弄得我心情很糟。。

忙碌又开始了。。
我要享受它。。

evening gown. looks more like a bridal day dress. hehe. this is a failure. uneven gathers, terrible hem, cheaplug fabric, everything sucked. no matter what. i still love it!
this nerd is a pool-pro. hmm. you shud be my sifu baby ben, love this pic, a lot :)

我一个人到pyramid。
哈哈。 我好勇敢！平时都没那个胆量。

大家都说我想多了，担心得太多。
很多事，小细节，其实经常观察后会害怕，因为知道了实情的丑陋。
所以，大家小心看人啦。

还有，我今天的停车费是免费的，
停车场人员开放了三个免费的停车位，很幸运的啦，我是第一个。

假期。。今天就最后一天啦，明天又重回战场。
我要改变，改变。。

kikilala今天起和我一起住。他们好像很开心，但我还想babi... T_T

“俗辣，懒怕”

经期第一天。累

mahai.
too careless..
redo someT_T

do you know that?
do you know that?
do you know that?
do you know that?


i t ' s belle's b i r t h d a y t o d a y !!

[quit being so emo]

i think they call it freedom of speech

[Exits]

darlinks

shopping

[history]

watch me waste my life away

[secret wishlist]

[miscellaneous]

. .bébé, je t'aime avec toute ma vie. .